Ramadan Day 25

Today, I answered a phone call from my uncle who lives in Ramallah,Palestine/Israel. Depending on who you are and what you believe, Ramallah belongs to Palestine and to others Ramallah belongs to Israel. (There is my teaching lesson for the day).

We were comparing notes about fasting in USA and in Ramallah. Depending on what part of the U.S. a fasting Muslim resides, is based off the sunset. I live in the MidWest. We currently break our fast at 6:40ish. My uncle said they eat about 5:40ish. The Middle East is 7 or 8 hours ahead of Central Time. My uncle thinks it is neat that the mosques and community centers offer "Iftar" meals to the community to break their fast. I believe it is not as common in the Ramallah area.

He also informed me that last day of Ramadan is Monday or Tuesday. Scholars will determine using the lunar calendar as the days get closer.

Ramadan Days 23-24

We are now breaking our fast about 10 minutes to 7 p.m. If you remember, the first day of Ramadan we ate about 7:30 p.m. I just can't believe how early it is when it gets darker outside. Not only am I not genetically made for winter, I am STILL scarred from last year's winter. Although, I have been told last year's winter is the typical Midwestern snow storm that we haven't seen in more than 20 years. (I am a Midwestern native, but a youngin'--late 20s to early 30s).

See during Ramadan, we don't only eat international home cooked meals (my family has been known to eat from American, Arabic, Italian, Mexican, Spanish, Chinese...the list can go on), we also ate out from small-town restaurant. The restaurant is old, yet cute and classic. We had fry chicken--which is not my most favorite food. It is alright.

Family members and I have been reading or listening to Quranic recitations. We are hoping to read or listen to the Quran by the end of this month.

That's the sound of letting go...

My daughter has a problem. She finds it very difficult to make freinds, because she's emotionally unable to cope with...I was going to say *some* situations, but if we're being honest, nine times out of ten, if she's gotten something into her head that she'd like to do, if she can't do it, she gets upset.
Freindship is one of those really fraught things - because she doesn't understand that just because SHE likes people, other people can't - or won't like her as rapidly. She takes it personally - and it escalates from there.
Last night we had to have a conversation about how to let go. She's only seven so we had to talk about it in terms that she understood - so, we decorated a wish box (she painted it pink, dipped it in glitter and then tied a rainbow of ribbons round it. We lined it with silk and a knitted square that she wanted for 'something'), and I taught her to write down her wishes. When she put something into the box, she rang a small bell. We've talked about how she has to empty the box if she doesn't get the small wishes - and take the ones out she gets. Most of all though, I taught her that she has to keep a smaller box - of wishes that may not work out. And that's her letting go box. Every ten things that she puts in that box that are valid and she manages to stick to, we give her a reward. And every evening, she and I sit down and discuss her day, over a hot chocolate.
So far, it's sorta helping. But I can't help but think that she's always going to associate wishes with ringing a bell - and letting go with closing boxes. I know it's better than tears, and yelling.
It got me thinking about my own stuff though - it seems to be a running theme with lessons in our house - the children learn, the adults learn, we move onto the next thing we all need to do.
When I sat and prioritised my most important 'things', I discovered two things.
One - short term, I have a lot of coding to do, but if I get it all done now, it's going to be much easier on me in the long run - and two, and probably more importantly, that's going to reduce by quite a bit, if I could just LET GO of some projects. Like my daughter, I have problems letting go - for different reasons, but it's ultimately the same thing.
If I want to make room for all of the 'new' I want to get up to - all of the short stories I want to write, all of the books I want to get stuck into. But I can't, if I have slivers of time that I have to fit dozens of things into.
Again, because this always comes up when I mention it, I have very few problems with time management - I just have a problem with ignoring new ideas.
So - there's another box in the house. It's a pretty black thing with silver ribbons (I got some samples in it ages ago). When I finish projects, I stick my hand in there, and I get to try something new. I find that I've got time, and I start something - but I've made sure that I can never overextend again.
I've already got a jar for story snippets, for when I get blocked (which, due to the nature of our cleaning sprees, gets 'backed up' to a database on my laptop) - so I think this is going to work.
Now - all I have to do is go swipe the bell...

Ramadan Days 19-22

Days 19-20

Because of our hectic schedules, DS and myself break my fast at my parents' home during the week. And on Saturdays, at my parents' home again because it is a meeting place for all of my siblings when we meet.

On Saturday, I helped my mom make spinach pies. See picture. Yummm...(Thank God I am not fasting as I blog about this). My mom made the dough from scratch and made piles of balls on a tray waiting to be flattened out. Guess who had to flatten them out? Yours truly. My siblings seem "shocked" when I "cook" with my mom. (Ha ha). I get teased because I don't plan semi-elaborate meals for DH and DS (this is for another story one day). I flattened the pies, and my mom put a spinach mixture and then she folded the dough into a triangle. If you are interested in the recipe, you can find it a random link that I looked up: http://www.theepicentre.com/Recipes/mspies.html. Unlike one of my sisters who loves cooking, I don't actually mind it when it is a group cooking. However, once in a while, I do find that inspiration to whip up some fancy meal--but that hasn't happened in a while.

Day 21

DH and I took DS to Sunday School. While he was in Sunday School, DH and I went to explore a Forest Preserve. It was so beautiful and relaxing. We walked in the woods, sat near a river, and DH and I reflected, observing nature and sharing them with each other. After two hours, when we were driving out of the Forest Preserve, we saw some steps that were built in a semi-hill. I told him that we should climb this next week when DS is in Sunday School. DH said, "let's do it now." I agreed. The stones were very old and steep, yet I had to climb them. (DH did fine, I need to exercise some more). Half way up, I took a break while DH encouraged me to continue. I told him to go on. He made it to the top.

I thought wait a minute. Yeah, I am fasting, but so is DH. When I saw DH continue walking after he reached the top. My curiosity got the best of me and I decided to finish. I reached the top (huffing and puffing), and was it beautiful! The top was covered with more trees and a walking trail.

We ended up going back down. Then we stopped by some friends' home. They invited us to break our fasting together instead of at the Masjid. After we picked up DS, we headed back to our friends' home and broke our fast there. One of these days, I am gonna have to post some photos of Arabic food.

Day 22

Guess what I did, world. I jogged and walked with my running buddy. Boy did I feel it! I haven't done that since June of this year.I was very thirsty today because silly me had to jog and walk. It's all right because it was an opportunity to discipline myself and teach myself to forget about being thirsty.

By now, every fasting Muslim tastes the food differently. The taste has a very rich texture (no, I am not talking about hot spices). It is just that you become more sensitive to the taste that you haven't noticed in a while. I hate to sound like a commercial, but you enjoy every bite as you eat.

Until tomorrow, my fellow readers.

Another Book Video - Book Signing!

Wheeee, one of my favouritest (totally a word) bloggers, Mir, had a book signing today! And one of her friends made a video of it.

Check. It. Out.



Possibly I've been hanging around with too many writers when one of my first thoughts was "Mir is friends with a DOCTOR!"

Creative Book Announcement

About the book... "Once upon a time, a mom and her daughter were talking. (Moms and daughters tend to do a lot of that.) Daughter Corey had come up with an idea. She wanted to make Halloween healthier and more Earth friendly, so she founded Green Halloween. Mother Lynn thought this was brilliant (and not just because Corey is her daughter, although that may have figured into it a tiny bit), but wondered, why stop there? Why not apply the same principles to every holiday and celebration?" Read more...

I've "known" Lynn Colwell through a writing group and her emails are always a joy to read. She wrote the only authorized biography of the original writing mother, Erma Bombeck.

Lynn and her daughter Corey wrote Celebrate Green! together and this is their very creative book launch video:

Show me the way to oblivion, plz (x-posted)

So, uhm. Sorry.


This week we had a freind visiting us - and between that and the almost permanent headache I've been stuck with, I've been fit for very little other than a tiny bit of Warhammer Online, and touring our gorgeous home with someone that was expecting something different. Although, what, we're not sure.

Next week, I start my new classes at Uni. I'm doing three double writing modules this term, and abnormal psychology - after x-mas, I'm doing the same doubles, and Psychology and Law. Plus, my I've started planning my Nanowrimo, and some interviews between now and November to give it max publicity. I can't believe I've been a municipal liason for six years!

Does anyone else have a plan?

Technorati : Kai, accident, headache, ow, pain, week

Ramadan Day 18

The time to break our fast come earlier each day. Today, we ate at 7 p.m. (unlike the first day of Ramadan which was about 7:29 p.m.). That is because the sunset is setting earlier due to fall and winter.

Today, DS and I attended Parent-Teacher Organization--the same time I am to eat. This is not unusual because our lifestyle sometimes demands us to break at certain times and certain places. It is bound to happen that we might eat alone or break our fast with a snack. That is what I did. I broke mine by drinking water.

Considering that attending PTO is voluntary, I could have ate with family members. I chose not to tonight because PTO is only once a month. I do believe parents should get involved in their child's school to their best availabilities.

DH beaks his fast at work by snacking. He likes to enjoy his meals at his pace, not when his breaks are timed. When he comes home after work, that is when he will eat a good meal.

I realize that in a couple of days, we will be entering the last 10 days of Ramadan which has great meaning and that I will explain in a later post.

Ramadan Days 16-17

Day 16

I have been reflecting on how quickly the days of Ramadan have gone by. Yes, I couldn't drink or eat during the day, but I didn't feel like it was a burden because I know the physical and spiritual benefits of Ramadan. For example, I continue to workout while I am fasting. Some of the health club members cheer me on for living life as normal as possible while I fast.

Fasting disciplines the mind, body and soul. It is all how you are going to handle fasting. Either you accept it or you struggle against it. I have chosen to accept it.

Fasting during Ramadan is not required for everyone. Women who are pregnant, nursing or menstruating are not required to fast. Children who are not of puberty age are not required to fast. The same applies to those who take medication and the elderly. I do have some family members who do not fast. It is because they have medical conditions that require them to take medications with food during the day.

Day 17
People are in a good mood, at least that is what I observed with my family and Muslim friends who are fasting. They appear to be in a relaxed state. They are a lot calmer because you also have to work on your personality as well. Although backstabbing, cheating and lying shouldn't be allowed at all, it shouldn't be allowed especially during the month of Ramadan. You have to try to improve your behavior as well. By cheating or lying, a fast could become broken.

I want to also point out that the behavior that we portray during the month of Ramadan is expected to be shown throughout the year. The way I see it, Ramadan is the month to practice, to turn an action into a positive habit. It is kind of like Christmas. Imagine the world being nice only during Christmas. What kind of world would we live in? Not a very kind one. (I know some might say it is not kind now).

Ramadan Days 10-15

Wow. I apologize. I didn't realize nearly six days I have passed that I didn't journal about my fasting days. What caught my attention is that Google alerted me of some link love by fellow colleague writer Amel Abdullah at http://muslimwriters.blogspot.com/. Thanks Amel, that is a good reminder of to continue blogging about my days of Ramadan. :)

Day 15

Often words are not enough to describe the feelings of Ramadan because what the heart feels can't always be expressed in words. (Maybe that is why love is a complicated subject to many?)

Now we are in the second set of 10 days of Ramadan. See, some people say that Ramadan is divided into three parts. The first 10 days of Ramadan are of mercy. Second 10 days of Ramadan are of forgiveness and the third 10 days are of freedom from hellfire. I haven't verified this yet. As soon as I find out, I will you my dear readers know. However, I do know that the last 10 days of Ramadan is considered highly blessed, and many Muslims will try practice more acts of worship than the other days of Ramadan. But more about that as we get into the last 10 days.

Days 10-12, DH, DS, and myself broke our fast at my parents' home. Traditionally, when we break our fast, we break it by drinking water or eating some fresh dates because that is what our Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) used to do. Today, studies show that eating dates offer many benefits such as being rich in vitamins and minerals. We usually buy fresh dates from Chicago or get it sent from Michigan or California. After we break our fast with dates or water, Muslims then go pray Salatul Maghrib (Maghrib Prayer). Then they come together and eat a meal.

DS is so cute. (Remember he is only five and he is not fasting). He would be playing outside with his friends, and when it is time to eat. He tells them, "I have to go break my 'fast' with my family." He will then wash his hands, and he then sits patiently at the table waiting until everyone can eat.

Day 13

The entire family (on my side) came together to break our fast at my parents' home--the central meeting place. My brothers came Chicago and "College town" and my other sister and her family. This was the first Iftar that we had together. Sad, I know, but that is how life is. We have our work, school, even family (I am a new aunt...I LOVE it)schedules. It was nice. We caught up on each others lives. We probably won't get together until a couple weeks later.

Day 14

DH and I took DS to Sunday School (Islamic style). When we dropped him off, we went to visit some friends who live in that same town. We hung out with them. Like DH and I, our friends were fasting as well. The time flew by quickly because we conversed on all sorts of topic--including Islam and work. We then prayed as a group Salatul Asr (Asr Prayer or the late afternoon prayer). That was nice. Once we finished, then we hung out for another hour, and then all of us, including our friends went back to Sunday School to break our fast there. Was it awesome. DS was sitting in the gym with his class until parents came.

The place was PACKED. There were smiles and greetings. Women hugged and kissed me. Some asked me how I was doing, and how was my mother doing. People were in a cheerful mood. Even my former Sunday school teacher and mentor asked me how I was doing. He also said that I was like his daughter. The atmosphere at the Muslim Community Center was very touching, DH and I agreed. We all picked up a plateful of dates, fruit and chicken noodle soup and sat at lunchroom tables. We waited for about five minutes when the Athan, call to prayer sounded by a young man in the gym. This is how it went, it is translated then Arabic is below. A reminder Allah is the Arabic word for God:

Allah is Most Great. Allah is Most Great.
Allah is Most Great. Allah is Most Great.
I bear witness that there is none worthy of being worshipped except Allah.
I bear witness that there is none worthy of being worshipped except Allah.
I bear witness that Muhammad is the Apostle of Allah.
I bear witness that Muhammad is the Apostle of Allah.
Come to prayer. Come to prayer.
Come to Success. Come to Success.
Allah is Most Great. Allah is Most Great.
There is none worthy of being worshipped except Allah.

Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar.
Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar.
Ash-hadu an la ilaha ill-Allah.
Ash-hadu an la ilaha ill-Allah.
Ash-hadu anna Muhammad-ar-Rasoolullah.
Ash-hadu anna Muhammad-ar-Rasoolullah.
Hayya 'alas-Salah. Hayya 'alas-Salah.
Hayya 'alal-falah. Hayya 'alal-falah.
Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar.
La ilaha ill-Allah.

We broke our fast. Then we got up to go prayer. The rooms were packed. Shoulder connected with other shoulders, meaning our shoulders literally touched our neighbor's shoulder. The Imam, religious or spiritual Muslim leader equivalent to a Rabbi (Jew), or Priest, Pastor, or Father (Christians) led everyone in pray. I guesstimated there were over 200 people in attendance. After we finished our prayer, we went back to the gym, and stood in line for food. As stated in another post, community iftars are sponsored by families Fridays through Sundays. Up to four families sponsor each of those days. We had four different kinds of ethnic foods because we had a Hispanic family who made Hispanic food, I believe it was rice; Indonesian family made noodles with chicken and vegetables; Pakistani family made Biryani, spicy rice with chicken; and I believe there was either an Albanian or Bosnian family made a type of pasta dish. They coordinated together the menus. Talk about team work and coordination. That is one of the beauties of Islam is that ethnic groups get along beautifully with each other despite language or culture differences.

After the meal, you had the option of hanging at the community center to pray Taraweeh (extra prayers performed in Ramadan) or go home. My friend and I opted to go home because we had young children with us, we figured we would let them play at her house while DH and friend would perform parts of the Taraweeh. At my friend's home, we drank coffee and chitchatted while our kids played together. DH and friend came after about one hour later. We all sat together and talked politics and social issues (where ever I go, I always seem to stat deep talks lol).

We left their home about 11 p.m. last night. It is an exception because DS is mostly asleep by 8:30 p.m.

However, it is Ramadan, the blessed month. I always make an exception for Ramadan.

Little Effort . . . Big Payoff

Over here at the Cook Household it's been an exciting week. We bought a house, for one. But a second bit of excitement has me bubbly too.

When I wrote my first book proposal, I included a short couple of paragraphs about possible future books that the publisher might want me to write. I think I called it "Companion Books". Well, in our discussions, it turned out that they were interested in one in particular. Now that my edits are done on that book, they are willing to start to talk about the next book.

I still have some work to do, I have to make sure all my research is up to date and I have valid statistics . . . but they want more of a synopsis from me rather than a full out book proposal. It's like a proposal without the two or three sample chapters.

When you are writing your proposal, don't forget the companion books section. It was just a couple of paragraphs long and is now saving me a PILE of time!

Copywriting v. Journalism and Ethical Considerations

A question about ethics came up recently on a Yahoo list for copywriters. Heather thought my answer might be helpful to others with similar questions, so here it is.

The situation: A business hires a freelance writer to write a profile of their company, and asks the writer to submit it to a magazine.

The question: Is it ethical?

It depends. There's copywriting, and there's journalism. Writers who do both are ethically and morally obligated to know which hat they're wearing.

1. If you're writing a company profile for the company, you do the best job possible for that client. Writing a promotional piece *as if* it is objective reporting is doing a service to your client (the company, not a magazine publisher). The whole point of an advertorial is to get people to read it, so it shouldn't look like an ad.

2. If you are a journalist working for a publication, you will never take payment from the subject(s) of the articles. That would be a conflict of interest and a HUGE ethical no-no. Now, if the editor wanted to run that company profile, knowing what it is and who you're working for, that's up to her. (They do it with press releases all the time.) As long as you don't misrepresent it as objective reporting. And if you REALLY want it to be nice and clear, the client should submit the profile to the magazine. Then there's no question.

Writers have the ethical obligation to clearly be working for either the client or the publication - NEVER both. There may be more to it than that (i.e., should you ever write a reported piece that includes a company you once wrote advertorials for?), but in the context of what we've been discussing, that's the basic difference.

Questions? Comments? Objections? Let me know. We should all strive to maintain a spotless reputation, in my opinion, not only for the good of our careers but just because we're great people.

Ramadan--Days 8 and 9

Day 8

I have now been recruited to help develop a market campaign to promote Muslim consumers, so they can do their holiday shopping. These are small businesses that want to increase their consumer range, which I think is a great idea because a little market competition and attention to Muslims will give Muslims different choices and options to choose from. I mean how cool is it if you see products like paper plates or cups that say "Happy Eid (Holiday)" or Islamic designs just like they do for Christmas and Hanukkah.


Day 9
I can't believe tomorrow is our 10th day of Ramadan already. Wow, the time has definitely passed by.

Today was a little bit chilly and I nearly froze when I went outside. It was interesting because I thought to myself, "Wow. Why am I THAT cold?" It is not because of lack of food or drinks (I mean people it was 60 degrees Fahrenheit outside--which was not bad), it was because I have now become more attuned to my body. That is one of the miracles of fasting. You become more aware, not only are you going through a spiritual cleansing, your body is going through a physical cleansing. I mentioned this to my mom. She said that is due to fasting and that we are more aware of our bodies.

By not eating or drinking, you are gaining self-discipline against being tempted by a materialistic world, and you are gaining empathy to feel with those who are not as blessed as you. You are also giving your body a chance to rest from digesting.

Some of my friends who are not Muslim have fasted for one day--Muslim style,meaning that they did not drink, eat, or chew for an entire day until it was time to break their fast. They were impressed by our discipline and self-control.

Ramadan Day 7

Today two of my siblings, my son and myself went to an Islamic community center, so that DS starts Weekend School, where he learns Arabic, Quran, and Islamic studies. Since it is only one day a week, DS will defintely need re-enforcements at home so that his knowledge may be strengthened in those subjects.

I registered DS at the school and then walked him to his class. Many people greeted me as I walked down the hallways. These are people I haven't seen in a year or so, yet they always welcomed me with open arms and smiles. (Just in case you are wondering it has been a year or so since I showed up at an Islamic community center it is because "Life" gets in the way. No seriously, work and other obligations. It is also a 30 minute drive from my home). Now that DS is a student of the weekend school, I will definately make appearances, and perhaps get involved as well.

Normally, weekend school starts at 10 a.m., but because it is Ramadan, the board moved it to 4 p.m.- 7 p.m., so that when the students are done, everyone, including adults, could break their fast in the gym/cafeteria. Families had already signed up to cook that evening. I have been told that Community fasts are available Fridays, Saturdays and Sunday evenings. How awesome is that! Since my siblings came with me to the community center, we didn't stay to eat at the center because we had made plans to eat with my parents again. Hopefully, DH will be willing to go on the weekend with DS and I. See, if you are wondering what happened to DH, he has been out of town for the last few days visiting his sister and her family. He is to arrive tomorrow night. DS and I cannot wait to see him!

Ramadan Day 5 and 6

Day 5: We broke our fast at my parents' home. There is more blessings when you eat with a gathering, so it is always recommended to break your fast with a group of people. Don't worry. We bring stuff to my parents' home as well.

My son is starting to ask more questions about Ramadan. He would ask what is it and why do "big people" have to fast. I explained to him that "big people" (meaning adults) fast, so that they can feel how the less fortunate feel.

Day 6: Today, Sarah Militz-Frielink and I had the pleasure of interviewing Imam Shpendim about Ramadan. It was an awesome lecture because Sarah and I learned so much. Be sure to listen to it at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/faten-and-sarah. Do ignore the background noise, unfortunately my son was trying to distract me. Usually, DH occupies him, but he wasn't home when I co-produced my show.

Today, my son proudly says during the day, "I know why you cannot eat right now." I asked him why not. He replied: "Because you are seyeyum (fasting)." My son and I prayed together. Although, my son is not required to pray yet, it is good to have him practice or copy. We prayed during Asr (late afternoon) time which is about 4:30 p.m., Central Time. I told him to copy like me while I prayed. He did fine. He said he felt good when he finished.

Tonight, my parents, siblings, son, and myself ate at my sister's house. She cooked homemade pizza and vegetarian lasagna. She also prepared salad. Those I believe are her signature dishes. She takes great care and planning to make homemade pizza and her vegetarian lasagna. When the pizzas and lasagna are done cooking, they look like beautiful pieces of art when they are displayed on the dining room table. We ended the meal with an cookie ice cream cake. Talk about rich, but delicious!