My barriers and American Idol

I finally figured it out. Yay! Heather gave us this theme assignment – “What barriers eclipse your writing?” - and boy was I struggling with the answer. I mean, after all, if I knew that, I wouldn’t have them, right?

Well, I was watching American Idol this week, and a few of the girls had chosen songs based on what they thought judges or fans might say... in other words, (according to Ryan and the judges) they were overthinking their selections.

I could immediately relate to that. Ramiele Malubay bypassed slower songs she liked because she thought people would start calling her Lullaby Malubay (a sophomoric taunt anyway). Paula suggested she forget about all of that and just go for the ones that she feels are right for her, that showcase her talent, etc. etc. etc. My interpretation: go with your gut. Or something. Do what tastes right. Whatever. Be you.

She wasn't the only one with that issue. Other women were told the same thing. The country girl who likes fishing and horseback riding vowed that after tonight, she would show off her country skills.

The nurse who is a bookworm did a song that didn't fit with her bluesy style. Randy told her to stick with those, because they work for her. I have to agree.

It's so easy when you're playing armchair quarterback on American Idol to see this. It's quite another matter when you're the writer, sitting in front of your article, wondering how to do this thing. Should I use this word, or would that make me sound stupid? Does this lead have enough zing? What about the order of the article, and are the transitions brilliant enough?

So that’s one of the barriers I think that eclipses my writing. Some people call it an internal editor. The solution is supposed to be to write without regard to all of that, because you can go back and edit later.

I’ll let you know when I figure out how to do that. ;-)

Me, Myself and I (Barriers)

Writing out in the deep end where my toes no longer feel the gritty sand on the bottom. The very tips of them occasionally catching a tenuous grasp before the waves of life come crashing over my head. At times riding the waves high in the thrill of just writing. Other moments allowing the waves to suck me under the surf... to wallow down with the dark things...the Not Good Enoughs.

I could blame the dog, who is small and inclined to chew everything from my favorite pair of sandals to laptop power cords. The dog, who needs to be taken out every half hour, only to return back inside and use my hardwood floor as a toilet. The dog, who reminds me of the toddler phase and why I'm done having babies.

Or maybe the munchkins, there are four. That's a good enough excuse, right? The munchkins with Science Fair projects times two, one of which involves the growth of mold in baby food jars on my bathroom counter. The Ethiopia project which required paper mache mask making and Ethiopian hut making out of pine straw with the help of a glue gun. After which my fingertips looked like someone had held them to a hot stove.

There is the housework. The laundry pile that never seems to get smaller. The sink that magically refills with dishes. The dentist. The doctor. The butcher. The baker. The birthday cake maker. Ok, I'm exaggerating just a bit, but you get the point.

But the truth is, it's really none of these. But rather me. My own barrier to my own success. To often frustrated, pulling back from it. Half heartedly writing, pursuing markets, working on editing the book (which really might kill me). So scared to fail, more scared to succeed.

But somehow despite myself, I can't stay away. I have to climb back up the cliff, sometimes slowly, sometimes sprinting to the very tip top. Plunging back in, feet first, right into the deep end. Where it's quite possible I might drown but it's also very likely I'll float right to the top.

My barrier is time

Heather asked us what our barriers are, and at first, I thought 'I don't have one!'.
I'm massively profilic, writing fiction, non-fiction, poetry, setting up a publishing house, going to University full time....raising a family...
And that's when it hit me.
My barrier is time.
Not time management, but time itself.

My barrier is time because there isn't enough of it.
My average day is 19 hours long. I sleep for five (though every so often, I don't sleep at all!). In those 19 hours, I spend:
2 eating
4 studying
6 chasing after my children before and after school - doing homework, reading and writing with them.
3 hours cleaning and doing 'house' stuff.
That leaves me six hours for writing, playing games, and the other 'stuff' I do - articles for gaming sites, my books 'etc'.
After term ends in April, I 'gain back' my study time, so that gives me a solid eight hours of work to look at my novels and other work.
But time is a huge barrier for me - I can't do 'everying' I want to do - though, of course, most of its my fault. I love my projects, but I'm pulling down this one barrier by rearranging, carefully. I'm selling off a lot of sites, and amalgamating a lot more.

Whatever your barriers are, you can tear them down - just work out what they are and why they are there and creatively change the rest ;)

My Barrier is a Key

It took me a long time to figure out what my barrier was. I convinced myself it was writers block, then it was having children, then I was too tired, then I had too much to do. I always had a great excuse for why I wasn’t writing. I can still use some of those excuses today.

I’d find myself with a spare hour and instead of writing, I’d be surfing or catching up on the latest posts from my favorite bloggers. I’d be chatting on lists and “reasearching” something. I’d find recipes that I had to print and post on my fridge, the perfect way to get grape juice out of the carpet, new books online to add to my wish list, sites to bookmark and share with my son later… (note: just as I typed that I remembered to go bookmark www.starfall.com because it’s a pretty cool site for kids to learn to read… )

I convinced myself that I wasn’t writing because I had all this other stuff to DO. Those were my barriers, the things, the to-do lists, the bits of information out there waiting for me. But they weren’t my barriers.

My barrier was my need for external inspiration. I was searching for something that would point me in the direction of that blank page. Something big that said WRITE ABOUT THIS… or something that would spark the tiniest flame of inspiration that I could tend to and grow into a great big creative fire.

But here’s the rub: we can only ever find the inspiration and the drive inside. Sure there are external motivators. Heck, getting paid is one of them! But they only feed the important, internal engine that drives our creative self. As I was surfing, searching, seeking I was looking for the key to start that engine. That was my barrier, a belief that the key to start my engine was to be found out THERE.

But it’s inside me.

Have you ever lost your keys? Isn’t that the most frustrating thing on the planet? But that’s what it’s like to be a writer who wants to say something but doesn’t know what or where or how or why.

“I gotta get going, I need to be on my way, I have to start… but where the heck are my keys!”

“I have to get this written, how do I start? What am I trying to say? My deadline is looming… where is my key?”

So here’s what I do to overcome my barrier.

I fake it. I get ready to go, I put on my writer clothes and get settled and then I type exactly this:

Smart Title Goes Here

In my intro I want to be smart and sassy, I want to draw a correlation between the reader’s thoughts about being blocked and a common problem that everyone faces.

Something about being blocked…

Interview? Maybe Jodie…

And that’s how I start. I’m rummaging, fumbling, it’s not pretty, I’m a little sweaty and not a happy camper. But soon I spark a little flame. Soon the engine starts to catch. Soon I know exactly what I wanted to say. And it’s not because something outside myself inspired me, it’s because I searched within for the key.